Where the hell is the remote control?

I'm getting such a bad case of cabin fever. I spent three years in Stara Zagora with roommates, but I still got at least a few days a month to myself and this past year has been with me home and my parents working and my sister going to school, but now she's got summer break and I'M GOING CRAZY! She didn't use to stay up this late before at least, but now she never goes to bed before 3am or later and I'm left with half an hour to an hour of alone time at best and at an hour when I'm actually too exhausted to do anything but waste time.
She was supposed to be at a birthday party tonight, so I thought YES! FINALLY and prepared the gin and tonic and Torchwood and she fucking came back around 1 am, about half an hour after my father had gone to bed.
I need to be ALONE damn it, I'm an extreme introvert and I NEED time on my own *pulls hair*. I can't even draw anything with people around. Gah!



I also really need a mouse and am going to find one tomorrow.

What do you know, once you get past the classification-related horror Virology is actually interesting. But going slower that anticipated.
I'm gonna be my usual half-lurking self for the weeks to come because of all that.

Snagged an icon meme from love_jackianto again(in hopes that I'll nudge myself into iconmaking again at some point). I used only icons made by me, I couldn't possibly choose otherwise:
( most of my icons behind the cut )

I can't sleep again /o\. Or at least during the night. I fall asleep around 4:30-5 am, wake up around 2 pm, full of regret that I'm not still asleep, but with the nagging guilt that I have work to do and I'm wasting half the day. Then I have a headache for the rest of it. I used to be fine with 6 hours of sleep while I was still in high school, then the last year or two I realized the 6 had become 8 and ok, getting older after all *snort*. But these days I've had troubles rising from bed after 12 hours wtf. Tried a sleeping pill for like, the second time ever and all it did was make me sleep even deeper, but my issue's that I can't fall asleep, not what comes after that.

eta2: Whatever, I was angry, will be again, don't really need a reminder here.

On a brighter note, I think I've fixed my dsss art as much as I will (betas, who knew they were such a helpful thing *l*) and I resubmitted it. I know so many of the people that participate in dsss also go for yuletide and God knows how many other things more and go to school/work/etc OMG how do they do that?! Is there a guide Organization Skills In Ten Easy Steps For Dummies somewhere?! :P *shakes head* As DA said - "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Hi, I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth again. I'm just incredibly meh.
Still no job on the horizon and I'm starting to think I won't get one, at least not before the winter exams. They invited me to an interview for the first time the other day and I went today and do you know what fucked things up? English. They liked me and the woman who was asking the questions seemed nice and had graduated from the same high school as me. But there were applicants with English philology degrees and they couldn't ignore the superior qualification. Which I get, of course, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. I rather think I could have handled it(the job was office assistant). And English philology was always at the top of my lists of things I would actually like to study. Blah.
Maybe I should finally cave in and go take some kind of English level exam, like my mother's been nagging me to do for ages. I just never saw the point, when they're expensive, most of them expire in a few years and I don't need it for anything specific.

I have accidentally started watching Entourage and now can't stop. *scratches head* Ari Gold ftw. And Johnny. Eric Murphy makes me think of Michael Novotny from QAF. Only straight and with some balls and more brain. So he doesn't annoy me like Michael.

The cover art for Corambis (fourth and last book in The Doctrine Of Labyrinths) is now on Amazon. Why, book publisher people, why? And I thought Melusine's cover sent the wrong message. I do like the pretty pictures, in a way. And no one can accuse me of not being kinky ;P. But that's just...no.

I'm going to Stara Zagora tomorrow. I'm gonna be staying with a friend and she has internet, so I'll probably be able to peek in here a few times, but just in case I can't and I won't have much time anyway- wish me luck on September 8th, 9th and 11th, please :]. Not that there's a possible outcome that can be called "good", but not dropping out is probably the less stressful(...for my family, at least...) option :P.
I was supposed to have done quite a lot more packing, not to mention studying this evening, but I'm so sleepy I think I'll just goto bed now.
Be back in a week, at the most.
ETA Am here already. And of course, it's twice as hot as it was in Varna :/

Have I mentioned lately how much I HATE my university?! Fucking IDIOTS. We can't, at this point tell you if that exam is going to be crucial. Oh, you're a third year. Well, too bad. They haven't decided yet and they don't know when they will. The fucking exams begin on 8th September, for god's sake!
*breaths in* I found icons though.

And I think I'm finally not sick anymore. Which is good. But the flu took me away time that I didn't have. No second chances now. ...Watch me not care an awful lot. An year off wouldn't kill me, quite the opposite, i suspect. I'm just afraid that I'd be too tempted not to go back and it's a bit late for that, isn't it.

I have comments for people's posts in mind that I haven't got around to making, but I will.

A minute ago me and my sister were wondering if something was howling outside, before realizing that was the jazz club in the basement *g*.

And either John Barrowman gets better at the reading aloud thing as the Another Life audio book progresses, or I'm just getting more and more brainwashed, cause yesterday I fell asleep listening to it and I thought it was quite good. Which, I didn't at the beginning. o.O (And, the people on my flist that aren't stormy are probably wondering how much longer I'm gonna be babbling about John Barrowman and Torchwood. Well, I'm off to Stara Zagora in about 10 days, so probably at least until then ;P. Seriously. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to youtube and look for some Jack/Ianto.)

I... had a fifth thing in mind. Where'd it go?

I was going back home, after going for a walk with my roommate and stoically resisting the buying of yet more books for an hour. And I almost tripped over my own feet what I saw ( this!! ) (and why yes, they are a bunch of dorks) as a poster on the street. My first reaction was 'Whu?!'. Cause I'm pretty sure Apo don't have another concert here this year. Then I saw the Romanian inscription from which I got Vama Veche and 14th August o.O *facepalm* Cue me, semi-hyperventialting whining very quetly, possibly drooling, right there, in the middle of the street. (I may have neglected to mention I started /or am trying to/ studying for exams in September?) And that was before I got home and looked up where Vama Veche is. IT'S ABOUT 110 KM FROM HERE *cries* And the ticket is only 16 euros! (Ok, it's not exactly -only- for me, but it -can- be arranged!) It's a festival(Stufstock), so it's not gonna be half as good as going to a gig that's just them. Which I did, not 3 months ago, I know. And it's not worth it, when I'm short of both time and money. And my mother would kill me. Oh, who am I kidding, it probably would be worth it.
They're gonna be playing a hundred km from meeee *pines* Damn it, any other time...
I think I'm gonna spam you with pics from the Kavarna concert in May. Just to remind myself that I'm being greedy. I hadn't realized how addictive this live concert thing really is, you know. And I don't care.
Well, not wanting to read a textbook may also be involved, at a subconscious level :P

P.S. I'm so going to rip that poster off the wall, come night.

I'm off to the mountains for a few days, yay! We're leaving in an hour or so at the ridiculous hour of 6.30. Or so I thought. Turned out I had this horrifying dream of the not really impossible variety that leaves you panting and fully awake and still almost as terrified. So I got up at 5 instead of half an hour later.
I demand a great time after such a lousy start, thank you very much.
Have a good week, everyone :]

I've been stalling(the term began this monday) and trying to think and really getting nowhere,but in the land of migraines.I almost decided to give veterinary medicine up about a thousand times,each thime followed by almost deciding to try not to.I think from the beginning I kinda expected to decide on dropping out.I'm pretty sure I would have done so quite suiftly,had I wanted something else enough.But I don't know and I'm so sick of that.The two things that I wouldn't hesitate to try(I think) offer too feeble chances of finding a good(or any) job after graduation.Them being criminalistics(twice now I've had to virtually beat myself over the head with the fact that it's pointless,given the mess with my country's laws and police system ) and philology(English or another).Visual arts are also tempting and have the same problem.And I've thought(should have kept track of the "want" and where'd it go there,huh) I'd be a vet for so long that it's difficult to even really contemplate the range of other possibilities.It occured to me,a few days ago,that I'm very sure I love animals.I'm not sure if I love medicine though.
Anyway,doing nothing and torturing myself and my family hasn't done me any good.I've decided that I'll give it a last go.If I haven't started to feel real interest by the end of this semester-I'm done with it.If I do decide that I want to continue,but by the end of the winter exam session I haven't managed to catch up with at least two of the exams that I got piled up and at least three of the regular exams,scheduled for then-I'm dropping out for a year to pass them,cause they'll just keep piling.
I have no idea if I'll be able to pull this off in the state of exhaustion that I'm in(and I swear I'm not being dramatic),or if I won't just fuck up my chances of getting prepared for any hypothetical admissions in the summer,but I thought I'd push to the end one last time and hope the results won't match the statistics from before.
Speaking of statistics,the results I got so far from my poll are 3 people that didn't go to university,1 happy studying,1 that didn't like what she was studying,persisted and regrets it and 1 that liked it,but doesn't work it or doesn't like it now.Huh.
I'm travelling for Stara Zagora tomorrow afternoon and I've no idea if my roommate's computer's already there or if the internet's on(why yes,I've been avoiding contact with people that are likely to ask me about decisions),so I may possibly be offline for a while.If that's the case-see you guys sooner than later,I hope.

Mood: Nervous

I kinda dropped off the face of lj for a while again,didn't I :P. I was convinced that if the weather was too hot for me to go out,then my computer should supply entertainment.It rebelled by freezing up increasingly often.I said 'nope,you will work' and persisted.It made a pathetic little sound and died *cries*.Luckily,not permanently,but the AC adapter thingy was burned and I had to buy a new one and I didn't have the money right away,so that took some time.And then the CPU fan broke and then I had the flu(twice in one summer,that's a record.But a different flu,yay.We can't have me get bored.),in short-I'm on a roll again ;].I'm sort of hoping it's over now though ;P.
So,did I miss anything important?*l*