nyn: Ray is running (never by earth_vexer)
I've been stalling(the term began this monday) and trying to think and really getting nowhere,but in the land of migraines.I almost decided to give veterinary medicine up about a thousand times,each thime followed by almost deciding to try not to.I think from the beginning I kinda expected to decide on dropping out.I'm pretty sure I would have done so quite suiftly,had I wanted something else enough.But I don't know and I'm so sick of that.The two things that I wouldn't hesitate to try(I think) offer too feeble chances of finding a good(or any) job after graduation.Them being criminalistics(twice now I've had to virtually beat myself over the head with the fact that it's pointless,given the mess with my country's laws and police system ) and philology(English or another).Visual arts are also tempting and have the same problem.And I've thought(should have kept track of the "want" and where'd it go there,huh) I'd be a vet for so long that it's difficult to even really contemplate the range of other possibilities.It occured to me,a few days ago,that I'm very sure I love animals.I'm not sure if I love medicine though.
Anyway,doing nothing and torturing myself and my family hasn't done me any good.I've decided that I'll give it a last go.If I haven't started to feel real interest by the end of this semester-I'm done with it.If I do decide that I want to continue,but by the end of the winter exam session I haven't managed to catch up with at least two of the exams that I got piled up and at least three of the regular exams,scheduled for then-I'm dropping out for a year to pass them,cause they'll just keep piling.
I have no idea if I'll be able to pull this off in the state of exhaustion that I'm in(and I swear I'm not being dramatic),or if I won't just fuck up my chances of getting prepared for any hypothetical admissions in the summer,but I thought I'd push to the end one last time and hope the results won't match the statistics from before.
Speaking of statistics,the results I got so far from my poll are 3 people that didn't go to university,1 happy studying,1 that didn't like what she was studying,persisted and regrets it and 1 that liked it,but doesn't work it or doesn't like it now.Huh.
I'm travelling for Stara Zagora tomorrow afternoon and I've no idea if my roommate's computer's already there or if the internet's on(why yes,I've been avoiding contact with people that are likely to ask me about decisions),so I may possibly be offline for a while.If that's the case-see you guys sooner than later,I hope.

Mood: Nervous
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nyn: Ray is running (Default)

October 2012

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